Living on Borrowed Spoons

Some call it spoon theory. Some call it managing a chronic illness.

I call it Saturday.

Every weekend, I play this energy-budgeting game. Saturday is the day I pretend I’m “normal”—that I can balance caffeine, pain medication, and a good nap well enough to get the house clean, play with my daughter, and spend time with my husband like a healthy person would. I try not to think about the fact that the medication makes me a little spacey, or that I’ll pay dearly for it on Sunday.

This is how it goes for people managing chronic illnesses like Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, fibromyalgia, and others that have no cure and very limited treatment options.

When I push hard on a day like Saturday, the spoon theory says I’m only allotted so much energy. I burn through it quickly—borrowing from Sunday, and sometimes even Monday. It’s a debt I know I’ll have to pay. And I will.

So while people may see me at a birthday party or on social media, doing something fun and thinking I’m accomplishing these great things, there’s an unseen side. It’s the days spent in bed, ice packs on aching joints, trying to recover from the damage of the day before.

The easy answer would be to protect myself. Don’t push. Just rest.

But I find the cost worth paying. I find the good days worth the bad ones. Showing up, being present, and enjoying the weekend—that’s worth it to me. So I’ll keep spending those spoons on credit for as long as my body allows.

The truth is, Ehlers-Danlos takes a lot away. But I hold onto this hope: one day, Jesus will wipe every tear from my eyes. My body will be made whole, and I will praise Him with an unbroken body for all eternity.